Playing With Fire (Firehouse Fourteen Book 2) Read online

  She took a deep breath, placing her hand against her stomach in a pathetic attempt to quell the butterflies. Okay, she could do this.

  She reached out to turn the knob, then stopped and stepped back. No, she couldn’t. She was a coward. God, how could she face him after what she did last night? It didn’t matter that he had participated. Well, at least a little. Even though she knew he was fighting it.

  Or maybe he had been trying to fend her off.

  And really, what was that one kiss all about, anyway? When he had bent over and kissed the top of head like she was some little kid? Or, worse, a puppy dog.

  And enough already. She couldn’t put this off forever. With a steadying breath, she tossed the backpack over her shoulder and pulled open the door, holding her head high and pretending that she hadn’t made the worst sort of fool out of herself the night before.

  The smell of bacon was richer as she approached the kitchen and she was surprised when her stomach growled in response. Well, it was nice to know that embarrassment hadn’t killed her hunger, at least.

  Except she really didn’t want to spend any more time with Jay than she needed to.

  Stop it, she told herself. Just pretend nothing happened. Just act normal.

  Only she didn’t know what normal was around Jay, because she had always been kind of quiet and shy around him.

  Because she had been crushing on him.

  And why, oh why, couldn’t she have just kept acting like that last night?

  She stopped in the dining room, which was just an extension of the hallway with a pass-through window and small counter next to the door leading into the kitchen. Jay’s back was to her as he stood in front of the stove, stirring something in a pan. She took a deep breath and forced a smile on her face.

  “I’m ready whenever you are.”

  Had she imagined the slight stiffening of Jay’s back? Probably not. She chewed on her lower lip, wondering if she should say anything else, but he spoke first, stopping her.

  “You can at least have some breakfast first. I hear your stomach rumbling from here.”

  Angie slammed her hand against her stomach, hoping to stop it from making any more noise, but it didn’t listen to her. Great. Just one more thing to add to her embarrassment.

  Jay didn’t say anything else, though, just pulled the pan from the stovetop and sat it off to the side. She watched as he grabbed two plates from a cabinet and spooned some scrambled eggs onto each, followed by a generous helping of bacon. He turned with both plates in his hand and walked past her, sitting them on the table before returning to the kitchen.

  “Um, anything I can do to help?”

  “Just have a seat.”

  She turned and dropped her backpack on the floor, then lowered herself to the ladder back chair. Jay came back to the table and placed silverware and a napkin next to her, then returned to the kitchen.

  She absently unfolded the napkin—a real cloth one, not a paper towel—and stared down at the plate in front of her.

  “Would you like coffee or orange juice or anything?”

  “Um, coffee please.”

  “Cream? Sugar? Black? I don’t have any artificial stuff, sorry.”

  “Cream and sugar is fine.”

  A minute went by before he returned and placed a cup of coffee in front of her, the rich brew teasing her nose. She grabbed the cup and took a sip, hoping to use the steam as an excuse for her flaming face.

  But she shouldn’t have worried, because Jay wasn’t even looking at her.

  She let out a small sigh and grabbed her fork, playing with the eggs before finally taking a bite. She hadn’t known what to expect, hadn’t given much thought to Jay’s cooking abilities—after all, why should she have? But the food was pretty good, for all that it was just scrambled eggs and bacon.

  Long minutes went by, filled with an awkward silence as they both ate. Angie watched him from lowered lids, her embarrassment not detracting from her appreciation of the man in front of her. Close-cropped dark blonde hair, cut a little longer on top. Flint gray eyes, completely focused on the plate in front of him. And the rigid set to his shoulders, broadcasting his discomfort loud and clear.

  She was trying not to be obvious. For all the attention he was paying her, though, she could have just propped her chin in her hand and stared at him and he wouldn’t have noticed.

  She finished chewing the last bit of bacon, washing it down with a final swallow of coffee. The silence was unbearable now, oppressive and damning in its weight. Her hands curled into the napkin on her lap as she wondered if she should say something.

  “Jay, about last night—”

  He jumped from the table so fast that he knocked into the edge of it. Their plates bounced against the wood surface, the clanging loud in the following silence. But he didn’t say anything, just grabbed the empty plates and cups from the table and made a hasty retreat into the kitchen.

  Which made her feel even worse. She didn’t want this tension between them, this awkwardness that stretched her nerves to an uncomfortable point. Angie lowered her head and stared at her hands, still clutching the twisted napkin.

  “I just wanted to—”

  Plates banged together with a loud noise, interrupting her. Angie turned and watched as Jay placed everything into the dishwasher, his movements short and jerky. She took a deep breath and let it out, frustration now warring with embarrassment. Didn’t he realize she was trying to apologize?

  No, he probably thought she was going to proposition him or something.

  “Jay, I didn’t mean—”

  “Angie, stop.” Jay slammed the dishwasher closed and finally turned to face her, his eyes boring into hers. The intensity in the gray depths made her heart skip a beat. Had she always known how intensely gorgeous those gray eyes of his were? Or was she just seeing him a different light now?

  Probably both.

  And she really needed to push all thoughts like that from her mind, because that way lay insanity.

  “I just wanted to apologize—”

  “Angie, as far as I’m concerned, I’d prefer to completely forget about last night. It didn’t happen. It shouldn’t have happened. As far as I’m concerned, nothing happened. Okay?”

  Angie’s mouth snapped closed and she looked away, her face flaming under his scrutiny. She heard him mutter something but she refused to look at him.

  And she actually thought earlier she couldn’t possibly be more mortified. That’s what she got for trying to be optimistic.

  She got up from the table then picked up her backpack and slung it over her shoulder, making sure she kept her gaze lowered. It was bad enough that her cheeks were flaming, that he could see the embarrassment so clearly on her face. But to also know that her actions last night had embarrassed him was the last straw. Yeah, she had made a complete ass of herself, but she could have sworn that there had been at least a little mutual attraction and interest coming from him.

  Obviously there wasn’t, which only made the whole debacle that much worse.

  “Got it. So, ready whenever you are.”

  “Shit.” The word was short, conveying the frustration he obviously felt, which only increased her own misery.

  She hiked the strap higher on her shoulder and moved closer to the door, figuring she’d just wait for him outside. A strong hand wrapped around her arm, stopping her. She looked down at the hand, momentarily caught off-guard, then raised her eyes to find Jay watching her, something unreadable in the depths of his gaze.

  He quickly released her arm and ran his hand down his face with a loud sigh. “Ang, I didn’t mean that the way you took it, okay? Listen, last night.” He paused and took a deep breath. “You have no idea how flattered—”

  “Oh God, stop. Can this get any worse?”

  “Ang, let me finish. I don’t think you realize how hard it was for me to stop and, well, just to stop. But you’re Dave’s sister and I can’t take advantage of you that
way. I won’t take advantage of you that way. Does that make any sense?”

  Angie watched him struggle to explain. No, it didn’t make sense. Was he trying to saying he liked her but wouldn’t do anything because Dave was her brother? Or was he trying to tell her he thought she was nothing more than a kid?

  A flare of frustration shot through her and she tightened her grip on the strap again. “I’m not some innocent kid, Jay. I haven’t been for a really long time, so you can stop treating me like one.”

  “No, you’re definitely not a kid.” His eyes moved from her face and drifted down her body, and she wondered what he saw underneath the shapeless navy blue scrubs she wore. Was that a flush creeping across his cheeks, or just wishful thinking on her part?

  His eyes came back to hers as he took a deep breath and shook his head. “Shit. Yeah, you’re definitely not a kid. But you are Dave’s sister.”

  The room fell silent, stressing the point Jay was trying to make as strongly as his words. And she understood. Well, maybe a small part of her understood. But there was nothing she could say about it, nothing she could do about it, especially not right now. So Angie just nodded and took a step back, desperate to put more space between them.

  “Got it. So, whenever you’re ready.”

  Jay watched her for a few seconds then let out a sigh. He nodded and grabbed his keys from the counter of the pass-through then headed to the door. Angie followed, trying to push all thoughts of Jay from her mind, trying to forget about last night, trying to stomp down the embarrassment that still fanned her cheeks.

  All of which would have been a lot easier to do if her eyes weren’t so focused on his firm ass as he walked in front of her.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “Angie told me what you did the other night.”

  Jay choked on the coffee he had been drinking, the hot liquid going down the wrong way. He sat the cup down, splashing some on the table as he bent over, coughing.

  What the fuck?

  “What the hell, Jay?”

  He coughed some more, a spasm tearing his stomach hard enough he thought he might hurl, then looked over at Mikey Donaldson as she wiped at the coffee splashed on her arm. She turned and fixed him with a questioning look but he only shook his head. He closed his eyes, coughing once more, then turned to look at Dave.

  He expected his face to make contact with Dave’s fist, and actually flinched when Dave reached out. Only it wasn’t with his fist, and certainly not to his face. Instead, the burly paramedic clapped him on the shoulder and smiled.

  What the fuck?

  “Uh.” Jay stopped and cleared his still-burning throat, not sure what to say.

  “About her car, how it wouldn’t start so you fixed it for her. Thanks for looking out for her.”

  “Oh, yeah. No problem.”

  Dave clapped him on the shoulder again then walked over to the counter at the back of the room and fixed himself a cup of coffee. Jay watched as he took a long swallow then leaned against the counter, the mug held loosely in one hand as he watched Jay.

  And Jay waited, wondering what else was coming, wondering how he could even begin to defend himself. The fact of the matter was, he couldn’t. There was no excuse for letting himself get out of control like he had, and he’d been beating himself up for it for the last few days.

  “I honestly have no idea what to do with that girl.” Dave shook his head and took another swallow of coffee, a frown on his face.

  “Girl? Who are we talking about here?” Mike asked, looking first at Dave, then at Jay, then back to Dave.

  “My sister. Angie.”

  Mike laughed, the sound grating on Jay. He wanted to kick her under the table but was afraid to move because he was still waiting for Dave lay into him.

  “Dave, your sister is not a girl. Maybe if you stopped treating her like one, you wouldn’t have so many problems.”

  “Mike, she’s my baby sister. She is a girl. I just wish she’d get her act together.”

  Jay opened his mouth, then snapped it shut when he realized he had been ready to jump in and defend Angie. But he realized that might look suspicious so he said nothing.

  “Are we talking about the same sister here? The one who bartends at Duffy’s?” Mike tossed the question to Dave as she pushed away from the table. She glanced at Jay, giving him another curious look, then walked over to the sink and grabbed a sponge.

  “Yeah, that’s her.”

  “The one who’s also going to vet school? The one you bragged about graduating college with top honors? That sister?”

  “I only have the one sister and you know it. What’s your point, Mike?”

  “No point. Just wondering why you think she needs to get her act together, that’s all.” Mike sponged down the table, grimacing at the spilled coffee, then walked back to the sink to rinse the sponge out.

  Just one more thing for Jay to feel guilty about, he realized. He was the one who made the mess, he should’ve been the one to clean it up. But that paled in comparison to everything else he had to feel guilty about so he didn’t let it bother him. Much.

  “Because she does. I’m worried about her dating. Her choice in men leaves a lot to be desired and she just needs to get her head on straight.”

  The urge to bolt from the room was nearly overwhelming and Jay struggled to remain completely still. He could feel a flush starting at the back of his neck and only hoped that neither Dave nor Mike would notice, because he had no idea how he’d explain it. So he just sat there, staring at a spot on the wall behind Dave, and hoped to hell that nobody noticed, that nobody would say anything.

  The clanging of a bell broke the silence and all three of them paused, heads tilted to listen as the radio came to life. Dave muttered something and sat his mug down then left the kitchen to respond to the medic call.

  Jay let out a deep breath and turned his attention back to the paper, thankful that Dave didn’t seem to have any idea what had really happened the other night.

  The paper was suddenly pulled from his hands and he looked up in surprise to see Mikey sitting across from him, her eyebrows raised in question.

  “Anything you want to tell me?”

  “What? No. Why?” Jay raised the paper again, making sure it covered his heated face. He should have known that wouldn’t work, though, because Mike’s hand wrapped around the top edge and pulled it back down. Only this time, she kept her hand on it, holding it flat against the table.

  “You want to maybe rethink that?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Really?” Mike pulled the paper toward her and carefully folded it, her eyes never leaving his face. He took a deep breath and forced his eyes to meet hers. Why, he didn’t know. She obviously already knew something was going on.

  A few long seconds went by, filled with Mike’s questioning look and his squirming. He finally gave up and looked away.

  “It’s not what you’re thinking so stop looking at me that way.”

  “Then what is it?”

  Jay pursed his lips, wondering how much to tell her. Mikey was his best friend, and there had never really been any secrets between them. But for some reason, he just couldn’t seem to tell her what happened. At least, not everything. So he decided on an abbreviated—and definitely G-rated—version.

  “Her car broke down the other night after work, and she needed a new alternator. So, I fixed it for her. End of story.”

  Another minute went by while Mike just studied him, saying nothing. Jay started to squirm under her steady gaze and had to force himself to stop before it made him look guiltier than he actually was.

  “So you fixed her alternator? That’s it?”

  “Well no, she needed a new one.”

  “Oh. And you just happened to have on laying around at, what, two o’clock in the morning outside Duffy’s?”

  “Of course not, no. I bought a new one for her the next day and replaced it.”

  “Hm.” S
he sat back in the chair and just watched him, her fingers tapping on the table in front of her. Once again, Jay was forced to squelch his desire to squirm.

  And he still couldn’t quite meet her eyes.

  “Why do I get the impression that there’s a lot more you’re not telling me?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Really?” Another few seconds went by, and Jay thought that maybe she’d stop asking questions. But no, that would have been too much to expect. “Jay, did you sleep with Angie?”

  “What?” Jay nearly jumped from the chair, then caught himself at the last minute. “No, of course not. Do you really think that I’d—”

  “Then what happened?”

  “I told you.”

  “Yeah, and again, you’re leaving something out. Now out with it.”

  Jay opened his mouth to reply without really knowing what he was going to say. But he was stopped from saying anything when the alarm went off, literally saved by the bell. He muttered a small prayer of thanks and started heading out to the engine, Mike right beside him.

  “I’m not letting you off the hook, Jay.”

  He said nothing, just quickly dressed in his turnout gear then ran for the engine. Of course Mikey wouldn’t let it go. That would be too much to expect.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Duffy’s was crowded. Again.

  Angie didn’t know why she was surprised, or even why she was complaining. The weekend business had been steadily increasing over the last year, which is why she even had this job. The pay was good, the tips great, and she had flexible work-hours scheduled around school and her internship.

  And she really did enjoy working here. Tonight’s crowd was already off to a generous start, which was normal for second Saturday thanks to the live band that was now regularly scheduled. So really, Angie shouldn’t be complaining at all.

  And she wasn’t, not really. In fact, tonight shouldn’t be any different than any other night she worked here.

  Except her brother was here with all of his coworkers.

  Including Jay.